China First [12.5]

"When I was outside China First, I thought, 'I can do this.' Not that I hate China First, but as soon as I walked in and sat down I immediately regretted my decision to go there." - Mike McEvoy

China First is located on The Ave between 42nd and 43rd. What can be said about China First? Let's just say that the highlight was not the food or the atmosphere, but the fortune in Mike's fortune cookie. It said that 'someone is speaking well of you.'

Mike got a meal that consisted of BBQ pork and an egg roll, chow mein, almond chicken, 2 butterfly shrimp, and soup. That all cost $6. It sounds good and all, but let's analyze this. The BBQ pork was a bit different and looked liked 2 pringles that were made of pork. Pork Pringles. And the almond chicken sucked. It was covered in some random gravy substance. While Mike is a fan of gravy, this gravy was not "shui"-ing with him (you know, like feng shui). Bottom line, everything just tasted bad. Also, the restaurant is too Chinese-ee. It's like Christopher Walken in Balls of Fury. It made no sense.

If China First received a fortune cookie from Mike, the fortune would most likely say 'someone is speaking NOT well of you.'

Value: 4.5
Taste: 3
Intangibles: 5

Total Score: 12.5 out of 30